honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
