Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Your topless pictures make me question reality
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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