i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize