idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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