wakey wakey hands off snakey
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Randomize
