So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
