Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
