Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
