just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Dicks are not precious.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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