I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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