At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I just googled if crying burns calories
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
