420 ftw
North Korea, Best Korea!
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
