We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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