just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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