Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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