YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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