My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
