The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
