I feel like I'm in dance class right now
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
