Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
It's official drugs can't kill me
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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