Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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