she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
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