So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Randomize
