Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
