then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
