I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize