We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
