remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
