More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
bring money and cleavage
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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