Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
