I can tuck mytits in my pants
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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