She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
