I accidentally had phone sex last night
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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