Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
