1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
