and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
