loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
