He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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