my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
