What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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