I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
