I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
A+ Viking dick
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