you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
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