how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
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