No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
