There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
