I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
She needs sedatives and a leash
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
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