I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
