Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
