she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
