Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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