Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Duck Duck Cougar?
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
