Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
