i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
