They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
