are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
