i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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