I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
