Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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