Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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