I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Randomize
