ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
