So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize