how can u be prego again
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
NoShamevember. You game?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
