everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
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